Tipping Sucks, But Don't Be A Jerk

In Australia, tipping is almost unheard of. At the very most, you might just leave the coins that accompany the change you get back from paying your bill. Don't spend that 50 cents all at once, waiter! But that doesn't make you cheap. That makes you an Australian enjoying the benefits of not having to conduct a performance review every time you eat out somewhere. That's you enjoying the benefits of a country with a generous minimum wage. Here in North America, it's a very different story. The federally mandated minimum wage in the US for a tipped worker (those in service type jobs like restaurants, bars etc) is just $2.13/hour. Is it fair that you, as a consumer should have to directly front the cost of paying employees a fair wage? And is it fair that employees have to rely on the decency of their customers to earn a living wage? Absolutely not. But like it or not, when you're in the United States, that's exactly how it works. It could be tempting to not leave a tip, or severely undertip when you're travelling in the US, to save a few greenbacks. You'll likely never eat at that restaurant again, so you don't run the risk of having poor service or being served spitball soup on your next visit if you don't tip. And if you leave ninja-esque enough, you won't have to endure the embarassment that comes with a confrontation over a poor tip. I'd advise against being a jerk and not tipping at all or undertipping - but I do believe that you can save a few greenbacks, and still be ethical in your tipping ettiquette. Let me explain how. Tipping in restaurants is calculated as a percentage of the pre-tax bill. I could get into how stupid it is that it's a percentage and that the amount you end up tipping relates to how much the food costs, and not the service performed...but I won't. Because it's stupid, but it is what it is, and it's one of those cultural things you just have to go along with. Now, what percentage scale you use to tip is probably up for debate, but the scale I use, which has thus far never resulted in an embarassing 'Was there something wrong with the service today?' conversation, is this: 15%: Absolute bare minimum. I'd probably still tip 15% if I found a dirty bandaid in my soup and mould on my complimentary bread sticks (side note: How awesome is free bread at restaurants?). But that's because I really don't enjoy confrontations or looking cheap. OK, actually...I lie, I'd probably only tip 10% if I found a bandaid in my soup. But the point is, I'd still tip. 15% is probably more what I tip when the service is ridiculously slow, the server is blatantly rude or unattentive to you etc. 18%-20%: This is my sweet spot. This is generally what I tip, regardless of service. Because once again...I eat out so I don't have to do any work....the last thing I want to do is an employee evaluation. That's for the office, not the restaurant. Plus, tipping 18% in NY is easy because you just double the sales tax. And tipping 20% is easy because the calculation is easy. Tipping 20% is purely a convenience thing. > 20%: I'm going to be honest...I hardly ever tip over 20%. I might maybe tip over 20% if I accidentally tip on the post-tax bill amount or if it's just easier to round up, but that's about it. This probably horrifies some people, because it's not unheard of the more fancy restaurants in NYC to have a suggested gratuity of 25%. To that, I say....'Tell him he's dreaming' Now...these percentages will do you fine across the whole of the US. But...I've recently decided that my scale needs to be adjusted, depending on what state I am, and what their minimum wage and cost of living is like. This, is where you have the opportunity to not be a jerk, still tip ethically AND save a few pennies. So here's the deal....some states have a higher minimum wage than others, and a different cost of living, yet we generally don't adjust our tipping percentages in line with this. We continue the 15-20% scale.

Let me explain what I mean in a real world scenario... I dine at a restaurant in New Jersey and a restaurant in Las Vegas and spend 2 hours there. My bill comes to $60. In New Jersey, my server is only making the federal minimum wage of $2.13/hour. With my 20% tip, they've earnt $16.26 in the two hours I'm there. In Las Vegas, however, my server is making $8.25/hour, because the state of Nevada has set their own minimum wage. With my 20% tip, they've earnt $28.50 in the two hours I'm there. My server in Las Vegas is earning almost double what my New Jersey server is, for the same amount of work. And to make matters worse, the cost of living in NJ is actually higher than it is in Las Vegas. So is it fair that I'm still expected to tip on the same scale? Absolutely not. So it seems only fair (to myself) and ethical (from my servers perspective) to adjust the tipping scale. For places with a decent minimum wage (ie. NOT $2.13/hour) and a cheaper cost of living than NY (everywhere except maybe San Fran), my new scale will be 10-18%, with 13-15% being my new happy medium, and 18% the new exceptional. I feel alriiiiiggght with that.

In other tipping related news, here's what I tip for other services, in case you were curious as to my tipping ettiqutte: New York Cabbies - The general rule of thumb here is 20%. It's the lowest suggested gratuity on the touch screen when you pay by card in a NY cab. I think that's exorbitant for a guy who smells of BO, took me down Lexington for 80 blocks instead of getting the FDR and spoke on his handsfree for the entire time I was in the cab, but for convenience sake - you always end up pressing the 20% button. But if I'm paying cash and I get that same guy...you bet he's only getting 10%. Beauty Peeps - yep, you have to tip the woman who flosses your eyebrows and cuts your hair too. I generally go with the same percentage scale as I use in restaurants. Probably more when it's a service that hasn't cost much...like, for a $7 eyebrow thread I'd probably just make it $10. The Barrista - Technically you don't have to tip them, but they always have a tip jar at the counter, so I usually tip a quarter or two if I have it, or whatever the coin amount of coin change I get is. The Food Cart Guy - If you get a hotdog at a food cart, don't be sucked into thinking you should tip. The only food carts I even see that have tipping jars, are the ones outside of tourist attractions. Those guys are also flogging you hotdogs for double what they should be. $4 for a hotdog? He's dreaming! The Housekeeper - About $2 for every day they make up your room. I like to leave it accompanied with a thank you note and a smiley face, so they know it's for them. The Doorman - I used to wonder if I had to tip a doorman at the hotel, because you have to tip everyone in the US. And I was like...do I tip them every time they open a door? Because I could do that myself. And that seems like a lot of money, like a $1 everytime they open the door? But you only tip them if they hail you a cab or it's valet. I generally tip $1 or $2, depending on what I have on me. The Bellhop - My range is $1/bag. Some people say $2/bag....but like, really? Say you have 4 bags...are you really tipping some guy $8 to carry a few bags to your room? The Pizza Delivery Man - I generally stick to a 15% rule here. But then again, I live on the 4th floor, so I kind of feel that alone is worth 10%. The Tour Guide - People say 15-20% here, but I think thats kind of crazy. Like, recently I went to the Grand Canyon on a bus tour...there were maybe 30 people on our coach...if we all tipped 15% of the tour cost, the tour guide would have made $450, which I'm sorry....is absolutely absurd. In this instance, I think a $5-$10 tip depending on how knowledgable, friendly or likeable your tour guide was, is appropriate. Just my two cents. The crazy lady on the subway - $1 per random outburst. Just kidding...you don't need to tip her. But in a country where everybody has their hand out for a tip, you would be forgiven for wondering if you have to tip her too.